" But you needed to live as a woman?" Not just any woman - I couldn't be the Lady of the Manor either. Therewas something else in me. I needed to be a servant - a maid or a waitress,all the time. Ingrid did what she could to help me, and persuaded me tostay. I lived as her maid for six months. Then you were born and sheneeded me even more. It was wonderful for a while. I wore a Nanny'suniform! That was when I was happiest, I think. I loved taking you to thepark in your pram and chatting to the other ladies there about our babies."He sighed, a euphoric look on his face. I was impressed at how completelyfeminine he was, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. He'd been livinga totally female life for more than twenty years."But in the end I had to move out," he continued sadly. "I couldn't letmyself get attached to you, or you to me. There was no way I could be aproper father to you, and I was terrified that knowing what I was woulddamage you for life. I left Ingrid with. “You can have a male lover as well, but you should have a woman for children.”Higgis bumped hands gently with Blish. We all knew, though we hadn’t actually been formally told, that the two were as much a couple as anyone could be when still at school. Both were sponsors so that too was causing them both a lot of grief.“I’ve still got to choose people as well,” I said, trying to break their depression. “Who do you think I should choose?”Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sandra stare at me. I turned my head slightly to look at her and saw a fierce expression on her face, her eyes boring into mine. As usual she was heavily made up, looking scary and hard. I raised my eyebrows very slightly, questioningly. She gave an equally tiny nod. I returned with a tiny smile and a matching nod, and her response was a matching tiny smile. That was it. She had just agreed to be my concubine, I think, and it had taken all of two seconds, if that. Better, we had done it in the middle of a group of.
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